Looking Forward, Looking Backward
Hurry up and wait
It’s December, and the end of the calendar year encourages us to think about endings and beginnings, the march of time. To reflect on what’s passed, and what’s to come. Also to flood the internet with year-end lists of albums, TV shows, movies, etc. You’ll be thrilled to know my year-end music list will be coming next week! That aside, let’s get to it.
It’s easy to get caught up in plans for the future, so much so that the present gets lost in the mix. There’s a lot of fun stuff planned for 2024 for us as a family. Once the little one is able to really go places and has his vaccinations, taking trips together; we’re indoctrinating him early and going to Disney World in April (because I’m running a race there). Of course, bringing him to see our families. Even just things like taking nice walks around our neighborhood and Baltimore in general once the nice spring weather is upon us. Baby meet ups with the Tribe parents!
In the past, being perhaps overly excited about future plans wasn’t really much of a detriment. But now, I have to tell myself to stop, slow it down, breathe, and take in the moment. And it’s not always easy!
Every day with a little one brings change. It makes sense, they’re brand new. All experiences are novel and new, and the brain is learning so much so quickly. Obviously I don’t remember this stage—who does?—but I can’t even begin the imagine the constant flood of new information coming in at all times. And as it gets processed, he learns new movements, facial expressions, reactions, and more. Gets stronger and more able to do things. There’s no turning or rolling or crawling yet, but you can see the earliest stages of these things coming, and it’s wildly exciting!
Blink, or get too caught up in what’s to come, and you’ll miss it.
And that scares me.
In this, I’m thankful my new job is 100% remote. I work from home every day, and I can easily get up, and go see my little pal pretty much any time. It’s a luxury, and I do not take that for granted. At the same time, I do have a job and need to actually work, and that takes time away from him. I don’t think I’m in danger of being a “Cat’s In the Cradle” dad, but find me a parent who’s heard that song and doesn’t have that worry lurking in the back of their mind!
Really, this is just a reminder to myself to slow it down. To be present, in my child’s life and in my own, and appreciate all the big and small moments. Cherish the here and now. I’m trying to do that more, and I hope you do too.
Winter Wonderlands
As it is December and I guess it’s winter—winters in Maryland are not the winters I’m used to in New England—I’ll recommend a classic from the Vault that I strongly associate with winter. Small Brown Bike, if you don’t know them, are a late-’90s/early-’00s post-hardcore band from Michigan, in the vein of contemporaries Hot Water Music, The Casket Lottery, etc. You’ll be shocked that they released music on No Idea Records. Anyway, there’s nothing inherently winter-y about The River Bed, their third album, but to me it evokes images of walking down Somerville streets in a snowstorm. A dark album, full of regret and turmoil, for my money this is SBB’s finest work.
What a timely post. R.i.p. Trav.